Yes, These Are Real Haikus From 5th Graders

You know when you see those "letters from kids" or "poems from prison" and you wonder... are those really children (or convicts) writing those? Well, you can be 100% certain these really are haikus written by actual 5th graders.How can you know? Because I'm copying them off the homework they turned in to my wife who teaches them. I'll clean up the grammar and spelling, but will leave the humor un-cut.First, let's start with a few after my own heart.I have a monkeyThat drives a LamborghiniAnd takes people's moneyI have a pet snakeIt eats a lot of rat foodHe eats the food coldDragons are awesomeBlows fire and kills peopleLikable and niceFood is a favorite topic, of course.I love chocolateIts like joy in my mouthIt is also brownI like to eat foodMy favorite food is cheese sliced pizzaIt is hot and warmHere's two from the same girl, who chose to (mostly) rhyme her haiku!Balloon floats so slowThe balloon floats in the skyBalloon floats so highBalloon up you goBalloon you will never growBalloon do not goAnd if you'd like to know why our society is crumbling, I submit this one. Remember: 5th grade. That's, like, ten years old.I saw Kill Bill 2Kill Bill 2 was so awesomeMy dad gave me itHow about something a little sweeter to cleanse the palate?That shirt is as blueAs the sky on a good dayFeeling soft as youSmiling is happySmiling is good and nice tooHappy to be hereHow do you know when your student might have some bi-polar tendancies?I don't know how toI don't like haiku one bitI don't like haikuI don't know how toI like haiku a lot soI don't know how toAnd, of course, the surreal and disturbing is always fun.The human didn't think anymoreShe was nice and very friendlyAnd was in a hospitalI think we've all learned some valuable lessons. Like why use 7 syllables for the middle line when you can use 10? And it's amusing to say you don't know how to do something when you are, in fact, doing it. Actually, they're probably more clever than I'm giving them credit for.Overall, kudos to you, actual 5th grade poets. You've already written better poems than I ever have!