The Meanest Mom on the Block…

Im having some parenting struggles lately. My oldest daughter (Ashley) is a great kid. Shes responsible, helpful and is a great friend to pretty much everyone. She just turned 10. Since then shes made a couple of bad decisions.
#1. I looked out my window to see my neighbor driving his truck in fast circles around our cul-de-sac with a couple dozen kids in the back. My youngest three were in the house and I was certain that my oldest would know better than to get in the back of a truck. I watched shocked that an adult would be doing that at all- and then watched even more shocked when he stopped and my oldest was one of the kids in the back. We have pretty strict rules about car safety in our family- mostly hinged on following the law. You know, people wear seat belts and kids sit in car seats until theyre the proper age and size. That law. Absolutely never would it be appropriate to ride in the back of a truck. I called her in and she had to stay in the rest of the evening. Before she could go out to play the next day she had to write I will not get into a car with out moms permission, I will never ride in a car without a seat belt. Fifty times. I know. Im mean.
#2. I got a call from Ashleys teacher yesterday. Apparently shes not turning in completed homework and not bringing her planner signed. I was assuming she was having Steve sign it in the morning but apparently shes not even bringing it to and from school regularly like shes supposed to. She generally comes home from school and goes downstairs for 15 minutes and then wants to go out and play. Thats long enough that she could get homework done except for reading- which she does before going to bed. So that means all last week when I asked if her homework was done before saying she could go outside and she was telling me yes that she was lying. In our house thats worse then not getting homework done. Ive always been able to trust that she was doing or had done what shed said, it really bothers me that now I cant. Shes lost friend privileges for the week and now has to do homework at the kitchen table where she can be supervised- even though her sisters bug her when she does. Tonight was the party for the release of the newest Fablehaven book. Ashley has been looking forward to attending this for at least a month maybe longer. But we didnt go. I was really sad actually- it sounded like a lot of fun and would have been a good time. Being the meanest mom ever sucks sometimes.
#3. Steve finally got out of Ashley why shes stopped doing homework and trying to do well in school. Apparently she feels like she should just give up because she never wins anything or is the best at anything so why try. That breaks my heart. Ashley is a good kid who loves school. Shes not the best but she works hard and trys hard and does pretty darn good- but it doesnt come easily. (Well- except for reading). Steve explained to her that sometimes thats more advantageous in life- learning to work hard to become the best can make you more valuable because you know how to work then someone whos always just had things come easily for them. Its like shes taken a huge hit to her self esteem and I dont know why. I just feel like there is more to this then shes letting on, but if she wont share I dont know how to get to the bottom of this. I dont know how Im going to handle the teenage years.
Are you the meanest mom ever? (Well, besides me)
Do you have rules that other parents think are crazy?
Am I too mean?
Day FIVE

An addendum: My neighbor is a good person who had a moment of lapsed judgment. Ive deleted any comments calling him names. Please refrain from doing so. I hesitated to write that part at all- but this is my blog and this is an honest account of what happened. Part of explaining why Ashley was in trouble included the why- but this isnt about my neighbor, its about figuring out what to do with my 10 year old and her tween angst.